Keeping You Abreast: The Dance

One year ago today, on the most beautiful day of the year, my daughter Lauren and son-in-law Jesse were married at Good Shepherd Episcopal Church in Lexington. Anyone who has ever planned a wedding knows the preparation required to feed and entertain 150 guests, and somehow manage to make the day memorable and special for your only daughter. Looking back on that gorgeous 70 degree day, with all of it's minor mishaps, I can honestly say in hindsight that it was....perfect!

At the time, I was upset that the florist shorted us a corsage and some boutonnieres, the priest decided to change the program at the last minute, and the church wedding planners were just...rude. I also remember the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I noticed several guests opening the mini mason jars of m&m's placed at each setting and watched them guzzle those candies in the dark. I wondered how many people actually noticed Lauren and Jesse's names and faces on each m&m. Now, all I can remember is seeing the smiles and feeling the love in that church and at The Barrel House.

Jeff and I were able to spend some time with friends and family we hadn't seen in years, meet Jesse's family from out of town, dance to oldies with each other and our children, knock back a few shots (ok. That was just me.), and have the evidence immortalized on film at the photo booth.

One year later, I look back at the wedding and reception photos and marvel at the beauty and perfection of those six hours in time and wonder.....how different would this day have been had I been diagnosed one year earlier? Would I still have been a stage IIB? Would I have enjoyed myself as much...or more? Would I have cried through the whole ceremony and reception?

In each photo I'm in, as if I have x-ray vision, I see a big imaginary infra-red circle on my right breast, zeroed in at "4:00"...the medical team's name of the location of my cancerous tumor before it was removed on 8/9/13. I'm mad at myself for being too busy keep up with my annual mammograms, angry that I didn't find it myself, and completely thrilled that I didn't know on that particular day...what I know now. It reminds me of the Garth Brooks song The Dance.

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance
Garth Brooks

To my daughter Lauren and my son-in-law Jesse: May you always be as happy as we all were that day. I love you both!