It had been six years since my last mammogram. I synched my mammograms and pelvic exams for two years thinking that I could get it over with in one day. The women out there will totally appreciate this logic. Why ruin two trips to Lexington a year, right? I had a mammogram when I turned 40 and another at 41, then my gynecologist retired. Shortly thereafter, I started reading about the danger of all the radiation and began researching thermography. Before I knew it, six years had passed. Six years of researching a safer method of breast cancer. How about that for irony? I flash back to Mr. Ball’s 9th grade Core class at Jessie Clark Junior High. It’s 1979 and he’s explaining this commonly misused word. Irony: the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning . He asked the class for examples of irony. Crickets chirped.
Many have asked me if I noticed the lump or if I could feel anything. No and no. I did find another gynecologist and she examined me two weeks before this mammogram. She didn’t detect the lump either. Since the biopsy, however, there is swelling and you can certainly feel…and even see it. Everywhere I go, people want information, and I’ve never been shy….which leads me to the title of this blog…
My friend Nadina (my naturopath, in case you forgot) has spent the last two weeks drilling the importance of thinking positive. Actually, her philosophy is to train the mind and the body will follow. During my work day, I usually see about a dozen retailers. Most seem to genuinely care and want to know details. Then come the stories….everyone has an aunt, a sister-in-law, a friend, or a neighbor who has breast cancer. They want to share all the details. Here’s what I’ve heard just this week, “My friend in McDowell just died of cancer. I think it was breast cancer…She was right around your age.” Well, that’s just great. Thanks. Then I decided I was going to walk in with lots of positive energy and not mention it to anyone. Well, she already knew and said, “Oh, Ann…that’s so terrible.” I said, “I’m going to be fine. I’m going to beat this.” She said, trying to prepare me for the worst. “My aunt thought that too, but it spread to her chest wall and her bones…..” Dear Lord. I said, “Gee, thanks!” She realized what she said and apologized. It takes Nadina three hours every night to undo all that negative energy.
For years, I’ve witnessed first hand the law of attraction and the power of positive thinking. Don’t we all know someone who has overcome a tragedy, health or otherwise, with an astonishingly positive attitude? We also know people who call themselves a “sh** magnet”. They seem to attract mayhem wherever they go. I can’t afford any negativity. I finally decided to interrupt anyone with a story to tell. “Please don’t tell me any stories unless they’re inspiring and uplifting.” I wish I’d thought to do that before I saw half of my retailers.
I got a call from the man who will be performing my PET scan tomorrow. He told me not to eat after midnight and it would take 1 ½- 2 hours. He also mentioned that I needed to stay away from small children and pregnant women, as I will be radioactive. Dear God. Please let me sleep just a little tonight.