I think I have a few male readers of my blog. Most men (and probably women too) consider me
a bit verbose and would prefer it if I “cut to the chase”. For those of you know me, that’s almost
impossible. To truly understand someone,
you have to know where they’ve been.
So, if you’re wanting to know my official diagnosis (so far) and my
oncologist’s recommendation for me, just scroll down the last paragraph.
It’s been 14 days since the atomic bomb dropped in my
little world. There were a few sporadic
moments over the weekend when I actually forgot about it: playing Taboo with
the family, eating burgers by the pool, and pruning my rose bushes. My friend Cinder, the breast cancer
survivor and eternal optimist, insists that we have the right to play the “C”
card whenever we want. I’ve yet to find
the right moment to use it. I’ve tried
it and the joke falls flat. It’s just
not funny. Not yet. Not until I make it to the end of this “pink path” everyone
keeps talking about. Ugh. Pink used to
be my favorite color. I’m still not sure
what to think when Jeff and the kids now laugh at my corny jokes instead of
rolling their eyes. Over the weekend,
Lauren even helped clean the house and collated and stapled 78 of my
newsletters and stuffed my retailer bags (a monthly time-consuming job which I
used to have to pay the kids if I wanted help).
As much as I love to make them laugh or see them help, I miss my life 15
days ago….when it was “normal”.
Nadina, my naturopath, is trained in many areas of
homeopathy: Bio Meridian, massage
therapy, sound therapy, essential oils, applied kinesiology, sclerology, Reiki,
iridology, meditation, and so many other fields, but most importantly to me…she’s
an expert in nutrition and vitamins. She
believes that the right foods can heal the body and that speaks to my
sensibilities. She’s been all over the world to learn how to
heal people naturally. She’s been trained in China and Equador and will be going
to Central America in February. She’s
the one who said, “Get your butt over here!” after reading my Facebook post
asking for doctor recommendations. She first
wanted to use a Bio Meridian to test what was going on inside my body. She sprayed my hands with water so that when
I held the metal barrel, it would act as a conductor. My other hand was placed
on a tray which was attached to a computer. The machine emits a frequency into the body and helps open up the pathways
to meridians without needles (acupuncture).
It shows you the micro organisms, bacteria, and parasites in your body.
It detected in me: “an ademona with fibrous tissue forming of dense stroma in
the breast...and an amoebic abcess on the liver.” It
uses terminology from Tabor's Medical Dictionary. Nadina gave me Essiac Tea (a proven cancer
fighter since 1922), Liquid Chorophyll (to help cleanse the blood), a colon
cleanse, and rubbed various essential oils on my breast and armpit (for the
lymph node). She then placed warm towels on the area. This process draws out
infection and parasites. Imagine the
worst sunburn you’ve ever had. You
know….the kind with blisters. Then imagine that someone rubbed Tiger Balm or
Icy Hot on top of it, and then put a warm towel on top. Then imagine that they put an iron on low
setting and pressed it firmly upon said location- all of this on one of the
most sensitive areas of your body! I immediately
thought of the movie Rambo when Sylvester Stallone, after pulling shrapnel out
of his side, sutured the wound with gun powder and lit a flare. I needed a leather strap to put between my
teeth.
After rubbing lavender on it to ease the pain (lavender
is great for burns), she talked a long time about how your physical body
(cells) are affected by your brain. She went into some detail about how the
dendrites in your brain actually change their shape when you change your way of
thinking. This affects every cell in
your body, including cancer cells. She
impressed upon me the importance of visualization and meditation (I struggle
with that one. I can’t get my mind to slow down for one minute!). I promised I’d be back the next day for more
of her TLC. It was the most calm I’d
felt since June 28. That hasn’t
happened often because I’ve been seeing my retailers for the first time since
my diagnosis. It’s drained me because
with every sales visit, I’ve gotten so many hugs and so much love, I’m usually
sobbing when I get back out to the car.
Then I have to try to get myself presentable for the next stop. And it starts all over….I’m not complaining.
I feel blessed to have so much love in my life. I’m just emotionally exhausted.
I told Jeff about my experience with Nadina and how
conflicted I was about the orthodox treatment plan I knew I would hear on
Thursday. Jeff said, “Whatever you
choose, it will be the right decision.” Well,
obviously, I made the right decision in marrying him! I haven’t always made the right choices in my
life, but who has? I had to trust in
God to show me the way.
The following day, while driving down the road, I prayed
out loud, “Dear God, please point me down the right path and light it really
bright so I don’t miss it.” Minutes later, Nadina called me and said she had
called her friend in Florida and asked for help. She’s in the same field AND fought
breast cancer with no chemo or radiation.
She recommended an iodine supplement that she started after her
diagnosis. I smiled and wondered how
many signs I’ve missed in my life because I’ve been so busy.
On the way to the doctor, while Jeff drove, I
checked my e-mails and FB messages. One
was from Maria Burton, a former classmate who is living in Texas. Whenever I see her photos and posts, I’m
impressed by her positive outlook, her health and fitness, and her love of
life. I know she’s a Wellbeing
Coach, Shaklee Business Owner, and Practitoner
and Teacher at Reikimaster. The woman is who I’ve wanted to be for the
last decade. I just needed to be fit and
now….healthy.
I asked what she would do if she were me. After contemplating my question, she told me
something I never knew. She was also told she had cancer. She fought it with blackstrap molasses,
chamomile tea, meditation, visualization, detoxification, clean food, 100%
whole food vitamins, and used an “in-light Wellness System”. The “little dudes”, as she called them, are
gone. Her journey let her down a path to become one of eight (the first in the
country) to be certified to be a quantum light energy coach by the Board of
Natural Health Sciences. Needless to
say, after reading that, I’m very hopeful and inspired. Then, minutes later….
My appt with Dr. Moss was Thursday. My blood pressure was 140/96, the highest it
has ever been. Typically, it’s low, and stays around 95/60. “To be expected,” said the nurse. Jeff borrowed a digital tape recorder from a
co-worker and we were armed with that, a little bit of knowledge, and pages of
questions in my notebook. My entourage
(Jeff, Lauren, Jordan, and my dear friend Liz), all went into a very hot
conference room. The mood was tense so I
thought I’d lighten it…”This is the first time I’ve seen the three of you
sitting together. Let me take a picture.” The kids commented on how weird that
would be (given where we were), but scooted together and asked if they should
smile, Dr. Moss walks in and introduces
herself. She’s really young to be an
oncologist, I think. She explained what
she knew. She said I had a 2 ½ cm tumor
on my left breast. Wait. I thought it
was 2 cm. I knew it was one inch but for some reason remembered the radiologist
telling me that it was 2 cm. Don’t they
know that the metric system never caught on here? The first sentence and it’s already bad
news. Given my previous research, I
learned that if it’s over 2 cm, you’re automatically advanced to stage ll. Then she said I was estrogen receptor
positive and progesterone receptor positive.
I said, “Wait a minute. I’m on progesterone
(bio-identical hormones) to balance out my high estrogen levels. My regular doctor told me I was a sitting
duck for breast cancer.” Dr. Moss said
that the estrogen AND the progesterone were feeding the cancer. Now I’m really mad. I can feel my face
burning. No wonder I don’t trust most doctors!
I asked Dr. Moss about her knowledge on
alternative medicine. After all, the
nurse practitioner at St. Joe recommended Dr. Moss because of her knowledge and
acceptance of natural medicine. She said
that her knowledge was limited to a class she had recently taken and didn’t
have a problem with it as long as it didn’t interfere with her treatment
plan. I’m beginning to learn that in
the real world, traditional and holistic medicine beliefs mix like oil and water. The lymph node was suspicious so she wants to
do a PET scan to see if the cancer has spread.
If there are no tumors anywhere else, she would recommend a lumpectomy with
radiation. When performing the lumpectomy, the surgeon will
be able to detect any positive lymph nodes by injecting a radioactive dye
around the tumor. If any are positive,
they’ll remove them. Of course, much of this is just speculation
considering that the PET scan is next Thursday.
She’ll have the results within hours.
That same day I’ll meet Dr. Strifling, the surgeon. After the group discussion, she wanted to do
an exam. She noticed the red burns from
the oils on my breast and underarm and looked worried. I explained the essential
oil treatment I had the day before. She
said, “Ann, I just want to prepare you that chemotherapy will most likely be my
recommendation. “ I cried like a baby
and she held me for a few minutes. At
that moment, I thought, “Maybe she’s not so bad.”
My oncologist Dr. Moss
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